Journal · Life · poetry

I am a Clown

Hey sorry I’ve been kinda inactive.

Lately I have been into slam poetry. There’s this really cool organization called Get Lit that teaches kids slam poetry. I found it because of this really inspiration video that you should all go watch. Anyway, today I wanted to write down how I am feeling, but instead I wrote a poem. I don’t know if you will understand it, but that’s ok. I hope you can get something out of it.

I am a Clown

Remember when we all used to laugh together?
I haven’t seen that man in months.
Where has he gone?
Sometimes we see a glimmer,
Slow to come and quick to disappear.

My room is messy,
Cleaning it is an option,
But then when I am done I would have to face the real mess.
So instead I am here.
Trying to feel something,
My heart numb.

And here I am.
Cracking jokes for the crowd,
Hoping someone will laugh,
Hoping,
Praying,
For human connection,
Trying to ignore the sadness that is eating my bones,
Building a mask of laughter until I don’t remember who I am anymore,
And struggling to break out yet
I can’t stop.