I am a Clown

Hey sorry I’ve been kinda inactive.

Lately I have been into slam poetry. There’s this really cool organization called Get Lit that teaches kids slam poetry. I found it because of this really inspiration video that you should all go watch. Anyway, today I wanted to write down how I am feeling, but instead I wrote a poem. I don’t know if you will understand it, but that’s ok. I hope you can get something out of it.

Remember when we all used to laugh together?

I haven’t seen that man in months.

Where has he gone?

Sometimes we see a glimmer,

Slow to come and quick to disappear.

My room is messy,

Cleaning it is an option,

But then when I am done I would have to face the real mess.

So instead I am here.

Trying to feel something,

My heart numb.

And here I am.

Cracking jokes for the crowd,

Hoping someone will laugh,

Hoping,

Praying,

For human connection,

Trying to ignore the sadness that is eating my bones,

Building a mask of laughter until I don’t remember who I am anymore,

And struggling to break out yet

I can’t stop.